what have i learned lately

Assalamualaikum.

fuhhhh fuhhhh fuhhhh semua habuk yang ada. hellooo. i have so many things to tell since my last update. for those yang tahu, sepanjang ketiadaan ku di sini, aku telah di beri peluang untuk MENAMBAH USIA. witness one of my old friend getting hitched. having a blast girls night out (and also day). went to Outstations (again). and letting husband went to Malacca for a week now until friday attending a course (do i have a choice? HAHAHAHA). five of the most significant things that happened around me lately.

on the 11th of December this year i turned 26. i don't think that it is necessary for me to blog about it in here. no? maybe in the next entry. since all of the celebration’ pictures still in the cam. cam is in Malacca now. so yes. i have no mood to write about it without the pictures.

secondly about the friend of mine that has been hitched. also no pictures to share. so passed. the nite out (and the day out), also passed. Outstations story? gotta be kidding. i would really appreciate myself for less talking about work in here. HEHE. and lastly about the husband which been to Malacca for a week leaving the wife alone ahhh i should stop being such a naggy-clingy (is these words even exist? HAHAHA) wife though. so nope. i will not comment anything about that. or things will get pretty ugly. HAHAHAHA.

other than that, let me see hermmmm ahha sudah masuk seminggu rumah khidmat under renovation. i dont understand my mom’s vision. dia ubah bahagian depan rumah dan pindahkan entrance masuk tu ke sebelah. now we have an extra space at the front porch. also some repair-ment on the ceiling needs to be done. this house is becoming old, rangka siling needs to be changed. so now we have three tukang. seorang yang a bit old, seorang yang muda dewasa dan seorang budak lebih muda dari our Meo the skaterboy. the muda-dewasa one was most likely be see as the group leader.semua benda mesti melalui dia dahulu. cut the story short, so pada suatu petang, mom asked us to send them home (to the bus stand). so on the way to the bus stand, inside our kenari, husband did a little chit chat with them.

Tukang 1: boleh tahan lah dalam kenari ni kan. luas. besar. berapa bayarannya sebulan ini begini?

Husband: iya. boleh tahanlah luasnya. RM500 begitu sebulan.

Tukang 1: wahh boleh tahan juga ah bayaran nya tu. tapi luas bah ini. mana tau kan. ada rezeki nanti. insyaAllah.

Aku: T___________________________T

now let me tell you why the tears?  aku rasa sudah lebih sepuluh kali aku minta tukar kereta dengan husband. motif? i never satisfied with the kenari. sekejap aku mau Lagi Best, after that tukar, Hyundai i10, Suzuki Swift, Alza, Exora, Suzuki Alto dan paling ndak sedar diri is Nissan Grand Livina. ndak sedar dirilah sebab with my salary and my commitments that i have now, Grand Livina is really not happening in the near future. so yes. i don't feel grateful enough for the kenari. but someone seems to long it. you should see his face when he talks about the car. it was with a big smiles. what does makes me feel? stupid.

the young tukang always makes excuses to the toilet along the day. but before he reach the toilet, he will make a pit stop in front of the TV. there was a time or two that  i saw him laughing so hard over the TV programme. one of it was Opera Van Java. do you know what does makes me feel? ungrateful.

they lived a hard life. looked at their clothes. what they did for a living. when my mom was here, she cooks for them and they went complimenting how good was her ccoking. and even menambah! comparing myself to them, the kind of life that i have, i feel ashamed. mom told me that the leader has seven kids at home. so mom gave him a box of Ady’s old toys. can you imagine how happy the kids will be? T_________T

now i have heavy rocks in my throat.

i know i am such a sensitive human being. but thanks to that, i saw things like this. aku jadi kepikiran malam malam mengenang nasib budak budak tu. dengan tiada berdokumen. macamana mau sekolah. jadi pandai. dapat kerja bagus rather than mewarisi pekerjaan bapanya. ubah nasib mereka sekeluarga. who will give them the chance? walaupun they all are PATI, they are also like us. mau hidup seperti biasa, macam orang lain, macam kita. so thank you, Tukang. for you i have understand some new things and also to be grateful with my kenari.

we aren't supposed to be living with the thoughts that this world only revolves around us. take a look around. it is okay to  be a little bit sensitive towards other people rather than just you, you and you. lets become a grateful (and happy) person with what we have.

this is an auto-self-reminder entry.