a year and a half, 8 months

Assalamualaikum.

this is just a random posting for our first year and a half month being husband and wife. who counts that actually besides me? HAHAHA its just that, tomorrow (ahh i always have trouble spelling this word out) was April Tanisha’s 8 monthsary. so I was like today is our anniversary and tomorrow is April’s jadi macam heyy so special lah these dates. lets celebrate it. tadaaaaa. ini pun boleh jadi alasan lah ya. HAHAHAHA.

reminiscing the one year and a half made me realize that time do flies so fast and at the same time WHAT BARU SETAHUN SETENGAH?? kind of feeling. maybe its because i or we have been through quite a lot of things in our first year of marriage. tidaklah banyak cuma mungkin lain sedikit dari cerita alam perkahwinan yang biasa.

for some sort of appreciation to him, the husband, i would like to share this story with all of you. it was during my confinement days. as you all know my confinement days was not like any other ordinary confinement days for a mother and their new born. mine was without a baby. so for the first month, i was a bit lost in my thoughts and ‘dangerous’ if being left alone. HEHEHE. my mom stay with me for a couple of weeks, preparing meals and keeping up with my ‘medication’ schedule. masa itu aku kurang darah sedikit. so hafta to take Iberet a tablet per day. other than that, i am okay. not sick but weak it is.

weeks after weeks I've started to feel better and mom have to go back to Lahad Datu (working). i was confident enough with taking care of myself (and my feelings) alone at home for a couple of days before my little brother comes home from Politeknik.

but dear husband wasn't sure about this. the very first day he tried to go to work and left me alone at home was not successful. on his way to work, he made a detour to the clinic trying to get himself a MC. it was Klinik Dr. Suzain. we both love Dr. Suzain. but since dear husband was not even sick, so when it is his turn to met the doctor, he went telling her the truth about what he felt that time.

okay. now i feel like crying. pulakkkkk.

he told Dr. Suzain that he doesn't wants to go to work. he and his wife had lost a baby recently. his wife was emotionally disturbed and he was worried sick about leaving her alone at this time. he was a mess. his mind was elsewhere. he cant do work at that time.

and to his surprise, Dr. Suzain gave him a two days MC. kesian maybe she to my husband kan. actually, it was her the doctor whose confirmed my pregnancy and the very first ultrasound. it was her =))

there is also a time or two when husband have to bring me along to his office. he put me in the library with lots of book and food. just for the sake of making me feel safe and near to him.

that is how bad i am emotionally sick. hehe. the thing with being sick emotionally is you don't have the medication to cure this. and even the doctors cant help you. all that they can say was ‘only time will heal’.

so here i am after eight months away from my ‘worst moment’ of my life. picking up the pieces of my shattered heart. I'm gluing it back a little at time now. I'm taking my time slowly until i managed to get myself back together. and it is all make sense to me now that i don't need any medication to cure me. because time is a great healer, and Allah is the greatest healer. my husband, my family and friends are my supplements.

and so as i wake up this morning knowing that i have been sleeping side by side with this total stranger for a year and a half made me realize that i am in good hands. terima kasih Ya Allah kerana lelaki ini telah bersama aku sampai ke hari ini, dia masih mahu memahami aku, melayan tingkah ku dan bersabar dengan kekurangan ku. semoga Engkau panjangkan jodoh kami berdua di dunia dan akhirat. Amin.

taken today eh eh ah ah

i really want to give him the ‘gift’ that can cure both of us. never a replacement. but a gift. a rainbow after our rain. do pray for me please. jadikanlah keinginanku ini melebihi ketakutanku. doakan aku sedikit pun jadi lah =))

ps: pesanan untuk pembaca yang bergelar husbandku. hey you, jangan pernah kau bosan dengan ku seumur hidup mu okay.

pss: theme song entry ini.